...sucks.
look at these temperatures!!! WTF
this royally sucks. heat PLUS moisture?


so what else can i rant about?
yes....


ok enough, its Christmas eve, first time i've ever had to work this day. and it also sucks. and i need a real vacation.

oh and i want Lego batman for the Nintendo DS. yes i do.

Labels: holiday, rant

omg i've been in a "STATE" today. a state of mental turmoil, frustration, annoyance, hopelessness, and an overall feeling of "bleh" (not even "blah").

so why?

1. i ain't gettin' any younger...halloooo!? 31 is evil!
   
2. certain life milestones are taking too long to happen and its getting me worried
   
3. i want to complain but i cannot because the time's not right
4. i want to complain but think i shouldn't because i shouldn't HAVE TO!
5. just ate a powdery cookie and got it all over me.
6. i recently remembered how much i hate this time of year, how people get "busy" with absolutely nothing, how people forget other people, how selfish people are. (i was trying to be christmasey and joyful, but i got a dose of reality really quickly)
7. because i worry too damn much about shit
8. because i care too much about people that don't seem to care enough about me. so why should i care so much?
9. i feel like i have to do more with my degree. sooner than later or later than sooner? but eventually yes.
   
10. this job's not cuttin' it. its embarassing to not be able to take paid time off. what the hell!
11. is sick of planning her own shit.
12. wants people to take more initiative.
13. wants people to COMMUNICATE! not even communicate better, but to communicate period!!!! something, anything ... let me in!

and i could give a rat's ass who reads this. i gotta stop caring about all this privacy and "don't let anyone know i have problems" bullshit. everyone's got crap; some worse than others.

oh whatever.

Labels: personal, rant

i havent posted in ages!

ok two weeks

nevertheless, its thanksgiving tomorrow. and gobbledigook to you.

so i was just talking art to the head chief here. i don't know why it is that i usually don't talk to people at work about my art and music, etc. its usually because no one is ever into that sort of thing where ive worked, but here a few people are, so that's refreshing.
gotta do some more art, and music.
why is it so hard to do it consistently? at least weekly at a minimum. i need to keep up the momentum and well, practice practice practice.

something's not working.

oh well, so i'll return in december. ta ta

Labels: art, holiday, music, rant

so apparently my allergies :
(1) are seasonal, usually now in autumn
(2) develop into big, big bumps (these are no tiny hives!)
(3) always appear parallel to each other! so amazing!

for example: if one bump appears on the top of one elbow, another bump will magically emerge in the same area on the other arm. and the same happened in my thighs and on my knees. my bumps are in cahoots!!! cahoooooooots!

cahoot.

Labels: health, rant

so ive had a lot of crap on my mind. guess i should unload in a safe-internetish sort of way.
(1) art show was @#$in' annoying because 2 out of 3 of my pieces weren't up for dumb reasons= one wouldn't stick its backing and the other shadowbox, something fell in it. two things i could have EASILY fixed had i been notified prior... hey, at least the only one that made it wasnt by the bathroom or nuthin. geesh. my juju was upset too for being told one of his pieces was sold for 1/3 of its price by mistake, and then being told it was taken back- because guy wouldnt pay what it was worth. wtf. i think i'm giving up on these particular shows for a while. i'll just keep doing my thing. plus the pretentiousness at these shows is as ridiculous as you would expect.
(2) my parents need to get a divorce
(3) i need to feel better, physically. this is annoying already and i'm having all sorts of weirdness today, nausea, headache, rapid heart beats, wtf. antibiotic is done and what needed to be gone is not yet and its unnerving.
(4) halloween is coming and i want to dress up.
(5) i have too many ideas for too many businesses, developments, plans- one of them needs to get executed soon. im sick of seeing seriously dumb young people on tv bragging about having their own businesses and things just cuz half of them had parents with the financial means so they can do it early in life. i think all i'm waiting for is to find a place i'd want to do it in. permanently.

enough for now.
im frustrated.

Labels: personal, rant

so i'm sitting at home with cramps from a post-LEEP mini-surgery laser show; hoping all the stupid evil cells are gone. it hurt and it's still hurting. plus i feel all confused and wierd and mentally drained.
apparently my squeaky cells were too evil to freeze, so they had to be zapped! like han solo on a stormtropper!
anyway,
"These treatments are almost always effective in destroying pre-cancers and preventing them from developing into true cancers."
goodie gumdrops. we'll see.

anywho like ive told people, i've made peace with it and i don't care anymore. whatever happens, happens.
\
so i said i'm home, and well, i'm bored. so i've been polyvoring like a madwoman. and now i'm hungry so i guess i'll eat.

what a dull post.

Labels: leep, personal, polyvore, rant

stupid stupid stupids. im so exhausted, mentally.
yes, its always a "rant"

there are too many variables out of place at the moment and its driving me insane.
too much negativity
too much worry
too much insecurity
too many fears
no reassurance
no plans, much less future plans
no safety net

how the hell do people make it out there?
and
why do i have to have all this nonsense around me at all times. why can't things just be a little
simpler?

Labels: personal, rant

so im sitting at home waiting for the plumber to come back this morning to finish this mess:


our bathroom is a dark hole!

wtf. luckily the upstairs apt is empty so we can use that bathroom, but it sucks! dammit.
and
i have to stay home bored all day while this guy fixes it. and he's not here yet! i should remember when these people say one time, they really mean about an hour later.
cuban time=stupid time/completely selfish and inconsiderate time

oh boy. lemme find something useful to do to kill time...

Labels: apartment, rant