OMG we survived! LoL

Labels: music

playing live at Churchill's tonite. oh why oh why am i so anxious. yea its been 5 years since the last live experience, but we know what we're doing. i just hate the anticipation...gah
gotta calm down. its no big deal, besides by the time we play, everyone will be wasted! lol
hope the sound goes well, the set up and all that jazz. if that goes ok, i'll feel better.
kinda want it to be overwith already. poot

nothing else to do but hope for the best.

Labels: music

i want to move out of here. im choking on miami.
its humid, congested atmosphere has taken its toll.
plus the people, oh the people. especially the people i know.
just a waste. a simple waste of time and energy. getting things done for no reason, talking without a purpose, living in chaos. constant utter chaos.
the handful (and i really do mean 5) of good people are not enough to make me want to stay.
nothing nowadays is satisfactory enough to make me want to stay.
people come and go all the time, so guilt is no longer an issue for me.
my parents, well i'll figure that out as i go along, as usual.
my job is the only thing holding me back, why? thank the "financial crisis" for this one.
its not a good time for anyone to switch jobs at the moment, especially when they live paycheck to paycheck like us.
so WE need a change that we can't have right now in an environment full of turmoil.
its not an easy transition, day to day.
its never an easy thing to talk about.
its never a simple solution.
and
i've exhausted all my resources. i really have.
so all i can do is wait for the right time- financially- when i and we can do something about this constant disatisfaction with local life.

------------------------------------------------------------

Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
Junebug skipping like a stone
With the headlights pointed at the dawn
We were sure wed never see an end to it all
And I dont even care to shake these zipper blues
And we dont know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below
Double cross the vacant and the bored
Theyre not sure just what we have in the store
Morphine city slippin dues down to see
That we dont even care as restless as we are
We feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts
And poured cement, lamented and assured
To the lights and towns below
Faster than the speed of sound
Faster than we thought wed go, beneath the sound of hope
Justine never knew the rules,
Hung down with the freaks and the ghouls
No apologies ever need be made, I know you better than you fake it
To see that we dont care to shake these zipper blues
And we dont know just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below
The street heats the urgency of sound
As you can see theres no one around.
-Smashing Pumpkins, 1979.

Labels: lyrics, personal

wonderful lyrics by simon&garfunkel


Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of silence.

Labels: lyrics

ive been feeling extra anxious like never before. over stupid shit too.
well at work, im just annoyed to hell about being unappreciated and neglected. so many things ive done that are clearly above and beyond what i need to be doing for the shitty pay w/o benefits that i am getting, and nothing.
well poor management has something to do with it, but also the state worker mentality and that old way of thinking that someone new cant seem to change or get past. pretty pathetic.
all i know is that im not settling for shit just because its a state job. screw it. so much more that i could be doing and that i want to do (dont always know how to get there) but i am a dreamer and will never settle for anything sedentary or complacent.
and the show, omg the show. i dont know why i feel so unprepared or so exposed for this performance. havent played live since 2003 so that may have something to do with it. because around 2003, i was always playing live so i got used to it. now, in this hiatus, with so many problems that ive gone through and so many changes in my life, affecting the way i see things now, its become unnerving.
lemme think about that one a little more.

anyway, i need my coffee. til next time.

Labels: personal, rant